Bowling Alleygations – David Cowell, September 9, 2019

What a start to the 101st year of the Rotary Club of St. Louis (Club 11) Bowling Season.

The night started off with our Club President, Ralph Decker, calling us to attention for the National Anthem.  He enlisted the help of Bob Barnes, serving as color guard.  As has been the case at some of our Club meetings there were some technical difficulties with the A/V system.  Where were you Doug Russell?  Ralph did make it through with the help of his cell phone and a cordless microphone.  How about the timeless one, Bob, in his 56th year of Rotary Bowling?  Yes, he started in 1964.  Do the math all you doubters.

We are down to six teams for this bowling season, but morale is higher than ever.  We had a full slate of bowlers with all teams full and three bowlers watching from the sidelines.  Wait, there were only two looking on.  Read on.

Team Captain Doug Lorenz let me know that his team has “high hopes and low expectations” for the coming season.  Boy, was that foreshadowing things to come.

Rose Cooper took home a respectable $55 in the 50/50 drawing and we got our 1st bit nugget from our financial wizards as our own Ken Schuman said, “Well you know since we don’t have as many bowlers there won’t be as much money in the 50/50 drawings.”  But quoting Monty Python maybe we should just “Always look on the bright side of life.”  You SHOULD have a better chance of winning.  Well, on this night that proved true for Rose. 

Another bit of financial wisdom came from our Club President, Bob Garagiola, after he delivered a strike on literally the 1st ball of the entire Rotary bowling season.  I told him was a good sign for the fortunes of Team Cowell in the 101st Rotary Bowling season.  Bob said; “Past results are not an indicator of future returns.” Bah Humbug.  It took our opponents 27 attempts to find their 1st strike of the night with Carl Lane finally striking in the 7th and turning the tide in the match.  Team Cowell took game one with Garagiola and Barnes leading the way, but Lane led Team Conway with a 635 handicap series to take the match 14-8.  Hardly the ***kicking Dan Conway proclaimed on Thursday as Sergeant at Arms.

The ***kicking occurred in the matchup of Team Cooper and Lorenz as Rose and the gang took 22 points, shutting out Doug and his crew.  Doug, expectations can only rise from here!  Arnie Hadler had the best night for the entire league with a 638 handicap series.  Not one bowler was able to reach a 200 scratch game on the new and improved lanes at Olivette.  Rose told me that my wife, Jean, had taught her a few new words at lunch earlier in the day.  ****!  I don’t believe anyone is going to be teaching Rosarita anything new.

Team Decker (with five bowlers) took the final match against Team Soifer (with four bowlers) 16-6.  Personally, I think Jon Soifer should file an appeal.  No, Ralph did not count Gary Jones scores as the 5th but maybe he should have as Doc had the high scratch game of 198.  It clearly was throwing off the rhythm of Matt Wilson and the rest of Team Soifer.  Oh, wait Matt is on Ralph’s team! And, he had the best handicap series on their team (590).  My bad!  How the **** did they get 16 points?  Jon judiciously picked his team on draft night to get the same roster as last year.  Well, it did not work out so well in Week 1 but it is a LONG season.

One week down and only 30 more remain!  See you all again next week at Olivette Lanes. 

Well, at least I hope to see 6 x 4 = 24 of you.

David Cowell

Posted in Club Sports