Alleygations – Week 3 – 9/22/25

Captain Baker here.
I switched with Coach Soifer last week since he was going to be out.

There’s a quote from one of my favorite and potentially most underrated sports movies ever, recited by the incredible person known as Keanu Reeves. After Coach has asked the players to announce their fears as a way of building comradery, Reeves’ character announces “Quicksand” Everyone looks puzzled, and they turn to him for elaboration.

“You’re playing and you think everything is going fine. Then one thing goes wrong. And then another. And another. You try to fight back, but the harder you fight, the deeper you sink. Until you can’t move… you can’t breathe… because you’re in over your head. Like quicksand.” That was kind of like how it felt for Team Baker on Lane 23 bowling against Team Werner and their Captain, Terry “Turkey Killer” Werner. We started off well, had some good streaks, but in the end, they just cleared us off the board. Terry had approximately 5 turkeys over the course of the three games. It was like he was personally trying to give his players a Thanksgiving meal each. Terry rounded out the night with a 680, the closest Team Baker had was a 600 from yours truly.

I wasn’t able to see much of what was going on in other lanes and I didn’t get much feedback from Captains, except a note from Captain Cowell: “Quinn Rogers from Team Maddox subbed for an AWOL Kent Steinbrueck – Where’s Kent? Jeannine seemed to be doing the splits all night. Hope she is ok. Don “the Owner” Klackner had a 20? and high handicap series on our lanes and Captain Carl led his team to a 20-2 trashing of Team Cowell, who although close could not get anyone over their average.”

I’ll stick with the scores since those are irrefutable.

Team Cooper Vs Team Maddox, or as I like to call it…Family Feud…ended with a 16-6 win from Team Maddox. Hope that didn’t make for too awkward of a ride home. Captain Cooper had the best series score of all 8 players, however, with a 675 (so far, 2nd only to Terry).

We heard before about Cowell vs. Lane….so I’ll skip to Weiss Vs. Soifer, the Battle of No Captains….ended with an 18-4 win for Weiss, with an impressive showing from Mike Coleman who jumps to the #1 High Series spot with a 699, ousting Turkey Killer Terry.

See you on the lanes next week.