106th Season – Week 20 Alleygations -Captain Robert Driver ~ February 10, 2025

It started off as a fairly quiet night in the quiet hamlet of Olivette. It seemed like everyone was in a post-Super Bowl stupor. Then the Rotary Rollers started making magic. Though Valentine’s Day was looming, dominating (not loving) performances were the norm. Whether tis nobler to let your competitor revel in pyrrhic gains, or to take them by the throat and vanquish them like the scoundrels, scaliwags, and portable bag of guts they are?

Team Lane went off by setting a bunch of season long records for team performance. Jack Windish led the way with a season best 910 handicap series (rolling 175, 199, and 168) to lead Team Lane to a 20 to 2 victory over Team Jones. Dan Conway also had a notable night with a 672 handicap series. And Carl Lane struck gold with a 224 scratch game! In the immortal words of Jerry Reed, “When you HOT, you HOT!”.

In spite of all that glory, the most dominating team performance of the night went to Team Weistreich who shut out Team Decker 22 – 0 in spite of all of Team Decker’s bowlers rolling over their averages. Misery! Woe! Scandal! Chris Wilson (675) and Wade Weistreich (690 and a scratch 202 game) were standout performers. I’ll have what they’re having!

Team Cowell also had a dominating performance over Team Werner as they claimed a 20 – 2 win. David Cowell led the way with a 224 game and a 639 series. Swashbuckling excellence you bolting hutches of beastliness!

Team Driver pulled off a 14 – 8 win over Team Baker in spite of Chad Baker’s excellent 669 handicap series. And Ken Schuman claimed it was the first time in 30 years that he won the 50/50 raffle. My kingdom for a winning ticket!

With one week to go in the 3rd Quarter, Team Lane holds a commanding 17 point lead over Team Westreich and Team Cowell. The final contest is on President’s Day. I think it was President Warren Harding who said “Spin it to win it, boys! But do it in A minor!”

Sincerely submitted.
Robert “They don’t call him Shakespeare” Driver