Bowling Alleygations Week 25 | March 20, 2023 | Matt Weiss


Over on Lanes 19-20 the first thing I saw were Drew and Dee Baebler
sipping on some Long Island Teas. What? Not the usual Manhattan’s? Think
March Madness over the weekend had taken it’s toll with them.
But there was some other kind of Madness going on. Most notably,
the Conway’s 970 hdcp series third game with THREE bowlers! William Piper’s
703 hdcp series fueled this onslaught of the Werner’s but not without the
heroics of SURE TO BE BOWLER OF THE YEAR, Cowbells 206, 245, 597
SCRATCH series. Richard Warriner had a nice 209 game for Conway’s.
“Confucius say Man with hands in pocket feel Nuts”! Can’t imagine who
may have shouted this out.
There is some sanity at the Lanes. Carol Barnes, amongst the nonsense,
was reading, West with Giraffes. And, I do not believe the many that said, “Oh,
I’ve read that!”
On Lanes 21-22 there was a donkey whooping being handed to the
Lorenz’s by the George Milne bunch. Stop it Pete, you have already won a
quarter!!!! Getting their games in tune for the year end rolloff were Zoltar’s
688, Milne’s 639, & Fuller’s 608 all hdcp. series’ And to boot Don Fuller
won the 50/50 of $72. Need to keep padding the open bar for the banquet.
And on Lanes 23 & 24 the Weiss guys were rolling along just beautifully until
in the middle of the third game the Booty Song came on! ” Klack, there is men,
women, & children in the House!” What’s going on here, can’t have this!! Well, to
say the least, the distraction of one of our dancers, (Not Mr. Wilson) kept
the Weiss guys from sweeping all 22 points. The Weiss guys had a 514, 513,
& 522 scratch series from Weiss, Windish, & Klackner respectively despite
Matt Wilson’s 628 hdcp. series for the Soifer’s.
At this point in the season I would have to guess that Matt Wilson, Lilly
Michaels, and Terry Werner have to be in the running for most improved bowler.
With only two weeks left before the 4th quarter roll offs, two teams
attempting to win their first quarter are separated by 11 points and square
off next Monday. Weiss guys vs. Conway’s. Sure hope Piper is on the bench.
Couple of dates to remember. Tuesday, April 18th Columbia trip.
Monday April 24th Bowling Banquet. LoRusso’s Cuccini 6pm.
Finally, have to tell you a true story of one of own bowlers/ golfers, 83
year’s young Doc Jones. What a man! The only player in his 80’s on the
annual Rotary golf trip. On Thursday morning, March 9th, at 4am in the
morning Doc gets up to pee. Now this is following the first of our two
gala events at Wolf Creek on Wednesday. Well Doc cannot pee. He gets dressed,
does not wake his roomie Doug Lorenz, and walks a little over a mile away to
the hospital. Gets a catheter placed in. Now his phone is dead, guys are now
looking for him, asking the front desk, and all of a sudden Doc walks through
the front door having walked the mile back. He shrugs it off saying it is Old
Age. Plays golf Thursday and Friday and wins the prestigious Big Jock Award
at the Friday night Banquet. The only player in Golf trip history to win the
Award twice. It usually is awarded for hole-in three’s, ones, or some non
sensical happenstance on the trip. Doc gets back and sees his urologist on the
following Tuesday and has the catheter removed. His Doc asked him what he
drank on Wednesday night. Well, he says, it was a long day. Had a few beers
after golf, then a nice bottle of wine with a fabulous dinner, (you all think this
is a joke, don’t you), followed by a couple of Manhattan’s for a night cap.
His Doc then asked him if there were any Luxardo cherries in the Manhattan.
Yes was his answer. “Quit eating the cherries” was his Doc’s reply!
When I grow up I want to be Doc Jones!
Strikes and Spares,
Matt Weiss

Matt Weiss Bowling Alleygations Week 25 | March 20, 2023